My Anorexia Treatment: A Round Up

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So, this is it.

After 18 months, I have been officially discharged from the eating disorders service. Many of you have been following me throughout this absolute roller coaster of a journey, and I’m so very grateful for all your support during such a challenging time. So, since it’s now over, I thought I’d do a little round up of all the posts I have written and shared along the way.

A Confession From Me – the post I wrote first admitting that I had relapsed and that I was seeking treatment again.

The Paradox of Eating Disorder Services – the details about the difficulty I was having accessing treatment based on not fitting strict criteria.

The Unglamourous Side of Anorexia – all the gory details about the horrible side effects of having anorexia, many of which I had by this point started to experience.

I Am Done – a post about reaching my wits end with anorexia and talking about all the things I hate about it.

Brain Dump: Starting Treatment – my scrambled thoughts after I got the phone call telling me I had reached the top of the waiting list.

The Unicorn Syndrome – my realisation that anorexia was hurting me after a trip to the hospital.

Recovery Is A Full Time Job – a summary of my first week in day patient treatment.

I Am Stuck – a post written a few weeks into treatment when I felt like I couldn’t go on.

Two Steps Forward – a couple of weeks later things started looking up and I felt like I was making some good progress.

A Week with Me – a general reflection on my week with details about the day programme.

Checkpoint – my reflections on having made it to half way through the programme.

The Recovery Rollercoaster – the ups and downs I’ve experienced in this process so far.

Coping With An Eating Disorder During a Pandemic – my thoughts on what could be helpful once day patient closed and coronavirus struck.

Cara vs Yoghurt – talking about the challenges that continue to arise through recovery, no matter how big or small.

Pushing Past Quasi-Recovery – why we can’t stop halfway, and why full recovery needs to be the goal.

I Miss You, Anorexia – an explanation of why we sometimes don’t want to recover.

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind? – how it felt reaching my target BMI

Onwards and Upwards – being discharged from day patient services into outpatient

Grief and Recovery – how it feels to start letting your eating disorder go

Coping with Recovery Guilt – managing those guilty feelings while trying to get better

10 Recovery Wins – a list of things I have achieved since starting recovery

Goodbye Eating Disorders Service – getting discharged after my treatment comes to a close

Thank you so much to everybody who has followed me and supported me through this journey!

6 comments

  1. Hi Cara just something I would like to point out , you have said that you would like to go back to the time when you could eat an ice cream and not care about restricting, you hold onto this period as a beacon and proof that you can recover from anorexia but this was a period that you were running up to and experiencing mania and during mania one feels invincible and in total control – Ana was pushed to the side and had no hold over you while you were in that exhilarated heightened state so Ana retreated to the recess of your being biding her time. You are now on medication to prevent mania so you aren’t going to be in that state of mind again ? Do you see the point I am making?

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    1. I have been manic for short windows of time but it certainly wasn’t a default state for me by any means – my bipolar disorder didn’t ‘push my anorexia to the side’ – they have occurred both separately and concurrently but my anorexia recovery previously had nothing to do with my bipolar disorder.

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      1. What you don’t say Cara – but it is there in between the lines – in summing up your AN.recovery is that in your head you feel exactly the same ? You don’t feel recovered?

        I have told you before but you didn’t want to know , I will tell you again anorexia is a paranormal phenomenon , as someone who fell under anorexia s control as a child it is extremely difficult to dislodge this evil limpet because you don’t recognise it as a parasite in your being as you have lived with it for so long you think it is part of you rather than an imposter – it is a demon – yes it sounds bonkers but it is the truth and you will find this out one day , please contact me if you want me to get it out of your system – read my blog to see where I am coming from I don’t expect for a minute that you will take me seriously this is the last time I reach out to you

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