Moods, Meds and Meals

an eating disorder recovery and mental health blog

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  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Eating Disorders
  • Mental Health and Wellbeing
  • obsessive compulsive disorder
I officially started therapy today so obviously I’ve got a journal to help me through it. It keeps me focused and accountable, and also a resource if I need it in future like all my eating disorder recovery bullet journals. Super exciting news! I’ve teamed up with @lanasbasket as a new brand rep and this is our first collab. I can’t wait for you to see what we are going to do together. I met my therapist today who I liked so much. Unsurprisingly I have now been diagnosed with perinatal obsessive compulsive disorder (I’ve written more about how I came to this diagnosis on my blog today). So it’s exactly a year (as of yesterday) since I found out I was pregnant. It was honestly extremely surprising because we weren’t expecting it quite so quickly, and it was also the day my EMDR training got approved which I knew that I wouldn’t be able to finish before going on maternity leave, so it was a day full of emotions! I honestly felt quite excited but absolutely petrified. We’d just put our house on the market, I knew there was the approaching chance I’d be getting redeployed - there was a lot going on. I also know that miscarriage rates are pretty high and with my history of how bad I’ve treated my body I didn’t really allow myself to believe it was real until we had our 8 week scan. At that point he was barely more than a teeny little shrimp with a heartbeat. I had some bleeding two days before my 12 week scan which was awful so we were prepared for the worst, but he was very happy in there and already looking like a tiny person. Hi pocket friends 🩷 Thanks for stopping by everyone 🩷 I always felt compelled to act on what anorexia told me because the consequences didn’t feel worth it if I didn’t - I’d feel panicky, sad and ashamed. But I vividly remember my therapist saying to me “nobody has a gun to your head stopping you from putting the spoon in your mouth”. It was direct but powerful. He was right. Nobody was forcing me to behave in ways that aligned with being ill. I had the choice whether to listen or not. So gradually I stopped listening. I’ve had a couple of treat days in the park recently which have been nice and it’s been good to enjoy the sun without it being too dangerous to take Beau out in it. It’s okay to take medication!! I know it can cause some shame and worry, and I know there’s a lot of misinformation and disinformation out there about it. But it’s okay to do what you need to do to stay alive.
Posts by CaraLisette
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