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  • Bipolar Disorder
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It’s not your destiny to be the smallest person in the room.
I had a situation today in which I had to buy lunch out instead of make it unexpectedly. I couldn’t find anything in the normal lunch part of the shop that anorexia said was okay so I ended up wandering around and making some pretty terrible food decisions instead.
Did my challenge of the week yesterday - down to single digits in the jar now!
Weighing myself is something I struggle with still. I have gone from doing it 100+ times a day to 1-2 times a week which is obviously a massive improvement, but I’m definitely still not ready to let go of my scales completely. A lot of it I think comes from the fact that my body kept gaining weight past my target (though has settled now) and I had this fear that a lot of people with anorexia have that I will just keep gaining weight forever. I still don’t trust my body, and I don’t think it entirely trusts me yet either - it’s going to take a while for it to realise I’m not going to starve it again.
Good morning friends! I hope you’re all doing okay.
I spent so many years of my life saying I’d make changes tomorrow, next week, next month. Always saying “I’ll recover one day”, but not committing to the fact that I needed to put the work in myself.
The sun always cheers me up so much!
Recovery Instagram will have you believing that it’s a choice. For me, that made me feel useless, ashamed, broken, when I couldn’t make the right ‘choices’. Why could other people make those decisions and I couldn’t?
One of the best parts of recovery is not being left out anymore. Anorexia constantly lands you on the periphery of everything, watching everybody else have fun and join in from the outside but not being able to do it yourself.

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