There are a hundred different ways people talk about recovering from an eating disorder, some of which wax and wane over the years to make way for new and different ideas.

One that you are likely to have seen in recent years is the ‘all in’ approach. This is based on the idea that if you have experienced a period of restrictive eating, the answer is to then eat everything you want to eat completely unrestricted, following which your extreme hunger will subside and your body will be able to start to normalise in regards to its hunger cues, cravings and metabolism.

There is a lot of talk about this on social media from people who are in recovery themselves and through various recovery coaches (a topic I also have lots of thoughts on and will cover another time).

I can absolutely see the value in this approach. Extreme hunger is very common in people with anorexia and is incredibly distressing and uncomfortable. If you are starving, reversing that with giving your body what it needs as quickly as possible of course makes sense. Why would you keep yourself hungrier than you need to be and delay your physical (and therefore potentially psychological), recovery?

Most recently, I did find this thinking quite validating to start with. There are books written about this topic which I 100% recommend – it helped alleviate some of the guilt I was feeling about how much I thought about food and eating, because of course I felt that way. I was hungry. However, I absolutely knew that eating without any restriction, at least for me, would not be the right approach. Some might be reading this thinking of course I would say it wasn’t the right approach, because it meant I was still able to control my weight restoration and avoid eating in quantities I was fearful of. However, I believe there are lots of reasons this wouldn’t work for me, and why it also isn’t safe for other people.

The concept of ‘all in’ suggests that responding to extreme hunger cues should not be considered binge eating, but a healthy and normal response to starvation. This, I think, is short sighted. Lots of people with an eating disorder will have struggled with episodes of binge eating to more or less extremes, and those behaviours are unhealthy and not conducive to recovery. This is especially true if purging behaviours are used following episodes of binge eating. It’s not spoken about as often but recurrent purging behaviours can present a more immediate risk to life than restriction can, and should not in any way be considered less serious.

I think that the concept of going ‘all in’ ignores a significant proportion of the eating disorder population who have a purely restrictive form of anorexia, which is an absolute minority of people. In my most recent episode of illness I was diagnosed with restrictive anorexia and did not struggle with bingeing or purging via vomiting. Previously I have had diagnoses of both purging disorder and anorexia with binge/purge symptoms, and I am very aware that these behaviours are something I have to manage and abstain from, even though they haven’t been a feature in my life for a long time. If, in my most recent time in treatment, had I suddenly started eating everything I craved in unlimited quantities, I have no doubts that I’d have ended up in some very unhealthy binge/purge cycles that have at times been harder for me to break than just increasing the amount I was eating. Aside from this, it can also put people at risk of refeeding syndrome, especially if they aren’t being supported by professionals.

What frustrates me is that none of these risks seem to be discussed in these conversations. There are people who could be put at significant risk from this approach yet I never see any disclaimers about the impact it may have on other symptoms and behaviours, or on physical health. I have also been made to feel at times that I didn’t do recovery ‘right’ or that I didn’t try hard enough because I followed a meal plan and increased my intake slowly and fearfully. Yes, that meant my eating was restricted for longer. It also meant I didn’t end up in dangerous cycles of different symptoms that I’d managed to put to bed in the past. I often get questions from people asking “did you go all in?” and feeling a sense of shame for saying no, I didn’t. It wasn’t physically or psychologically safe for me to follow this approach, so I didn’t.

There is an argument to be made that all eating disorders involve some element of restriction, and it’s not for me to say whether this is true or untrue. What I do think, categorically, is that the answer to restriction isn’t always the complete turning of it on its head, and that often people need a gradual, managed and safe process to changing their eating.

So I just wanted to share that if this is you, and you can’t follow this approach for any reason, I see you. Whether you have a diagnosis this doesn’t work for, or your physical health is too unstable, or your symptoms are more fluid, or even if it’s psychologically too difficult for you – it’s okay.

Recovery is a very personal journey, and we all need to do things differently. If you went ‘all in’ and it was safe and effective for you, that’s great. Your story matters and is important, and can be so encouraging for people who are scared to take the leap. But if you don’t see yourself reflected in these discussions, especially on social media, please don’t internalise that and think you are doing something wrong. You’re not. It’s not a willpower or a self control issue. It’s not that you aren’t trying hard enough or that you’re not capable.

You are on your own path, and it’s the end point that matters, not how you took the journey to get there.