In the age of social media, it can be hard not to compare ourselves to other people.

No matter how well you are doing, it is always going to look like somebody is doing better than you. The important thing here to remember however, is that it doesn’t mean they are doing better than you. I’m sure we are all guilty of portraying only our best selves on social media – I certainly am – and it’s important to bear that in mind when scrolling mindlessly through your apps.

With that said, it’s not just social media that contributes to this. I have always been incredibly competitive (I think this is pretty interlinked with my anorexia), and that leads me to be somebody who is constantly in my own private competitions with those around me. Who is thinner? Who is prettier? Whose grades are higher? Whose blog has the most followers? Who has the best job?

Honestly, it’s a truly exhausting way to live and I hate it.

One goal I have set myself over the last couple of years is to get better at noticing these thoughts. I think they are sort of automatic for me, but I am becoming much better at challenging them.

The most important thing to remember is that you are where you are in life for a multitude of reasons. You are the only person who has lived the life you have. It doesn’t matter if somebody has a better job, or is married, or has a degree. Their circumstances haven’t been the same as yours and there is no way of knowing what else is going on in their life that might not be so perfect and peachy.

Over the last few years I’ve bought a house, graduated university with first class honours and the highest grades in my year, got a good job and then a promotion and travelled to lots of different countries. I’ve also written books, gone to university a second time and got engaged. I have lots of friends and a wonderful boyfriend.

During this time I’ve also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had relapses, had two anorexia relapses, been under the crisis team, community team, and eating disorders team in day patient and outpatient, and been signed off work on long term sickness twice. While I am honest about those things, I think it’s easy for people to forget them in amongst everything else. Remember that most of what you’re seeing from other people, especially in the mental health sphere, is either their highlight reel or their lowest moments, but rarely the areas in between.

Everything is not always as it appears. Don’t compare yourself to others, you are exactly where you need to be and you will never know the full story of somebody’s life that they are choosing not to share.