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Tag: reasons to stay alive

June 11, 2018January 23, 2019 Cara Lisette

My Reasons to Stay Alive

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One day at a time...

Designed a load of new embroideries today to keep me busy at DSP. My creativity is coming back 🥰

Thank you so much to @selfcareboxuk and to everyone who nominated me to receive a box! This is weirdly timed because today I also got a bath tray and pillow so I’m going to have the best bath later! I’ve been wanting a bamboo toothbrush for ages so as soon as my plastic one is done I’m converted. I’ve also been looking into reusable face wipes so this box has basically given me a little nudge to start being more environmentally friendly!

Some more pretty journal pages 📝

It’s definitely too cold for this skirt but I’m wearing it anyway 🐆

Anorexia is deadly. It kills 1 in 5 people who suffer with it. This recovery shit is the hardest thing I’ve ever done - for some reason it feels harder this time around than ever before. But I am SO angry when I think about the last six months and all the brunches out with friends and hot chocolates in the evenings and ice creams in the park that I have had stolen from me. I’m angry when I think about how selfish and manipulative I have been, and how it has made my lie through my teeth to the people I care about the most. I am angry that my boyfriend had to put on a brave face for me while I laid on a drip in a hospital bed promising I’d get better, yet days later went back to my old ways. Yes, recovery is hard. But I am not going to be on my death bed feeling happy that I turned down that dinner invitation, or that I said no to that slice of cake. I’ll be full of regret that I didn’t try hard enough to fight back. So each day I wake up, and I do exactly that. I fight back.

Instagram

It’s not a complete outfit unless it has a matching scrunchie.

Four weeks progress. I can’t wait to see where I am in another four weeks. Anorexia is getting just a little bit weaker every day, and I feel so much more human and so much less zombie already.

Shoesssssss 💖