I’ve Got 99 Problems

My beautiful friend Anneli of Pigletish shared her version of this list a while back and I loved it.

So, here is my own version!

1. I have crippling imposter syndrome
2. I am allergic to lots of things
3. I am terrible at hair styling
4. I really like to sing yet I cannot sing
5. My feet are always cold
6. I can’t get life insurance
7. Horse riding is my favourite thing in the world but I can only afford to go twice a month
8. I’m allergic to fur but I love fur babies so I get a rash from cuddling my cat
9. The patriarchy
10. I got in trouble for accidentally stealing a packet of crisps from the shop next to my work and now I can’t ever go in there again
11. I don’t understand how to do good makeup so I always look the same
12. Anorexia
13. I don’t have enough time to focus on my job, shop and blog simultaneously
14. I have never owned a nail varnish that doesn’t chip after one day
15. I want to travel all the time and I can’t
16. My pets won’t live forever and that is the worst thought in the world
17. I have nightmares all the time and it makes me so tired
18. I want to have a book published but I don’t think it will ever happen
19. I never feel good enough
20. I am too short to ever see the stage at a festival
21. Glastonbury has been cancelled this year
22. My laptop is very slow and old
23. My natural eyebrows are terrible
24. I have a tattoo I regret
25. I get intrusive thoughts about death and they are upsetting
26. I don’t really like vegetables which is hard as a vegetarian
27. I wanted to be married by the time I was 30
28. I didn’t see my dad for five years and I’ll never get that time with him back
29. I want to be a therapist but my current job restricts me somewhat
30. I feel embarrassed of my self harm scars in the summer
31. My best friends are all nurses so we basically never see each other
32. I lived in a crappy flat for three years and now I have severe and chronic asthma
33. Coronavirus
34. My favourite mascara isn’t cruelty free and I don’t like any of the new ones I’ve been trying out
35. My hair isn’t naturally pink so I have to bleach my roots every six weeks which is annoying
36. I laugh when I am being tickled even though it makes me angry
37. I am not as good at drawing as I want to be
38. My half brother and sister live far away and I wish I was closer with them
39. I am the heaviest I’ve been in years and I don’t know how to cope with it
40. I feel like I need to decide if I want children or not now and my gut feeling says no but I constantly worry I’ll regret that decision
41. My neighbours dog doesn’t like me and it makes me sad
42. Anorexia has potentially ruined my fertility so I might not be able to have children anyway even if I change my mind
43. Louis Theroux isn’t my friend
44. Bipolar disorder
45. There aren’t any good vegetarian substitutes for fish yet and I used to like eating fish
46. I cannot grow my Instagram following
47. I worry about twitter breaking or getting locked out of my account and losing all of you guys
48. I have to have therapy over video instead of face to face now
49. I am locked into a very expensive phone contact because I keep smashing my phones
50. I constantly compare myself to other people
51. My rabbit doesn’t like being picked up but I want to cuddle her all the time
52. I’m not a very strong swimmer
53. I got pink hair dye on my white curtains
54. I wanted to get a tattoo for my recovery and now the shops are all closed
55. I want Invisalign but I can’t afford it
56. I still have holes in my lip from my piercings and they annoy me
57. I will never be able to visit all the countries I want to see
58. I worry that my openness about my mental health will jeopardise my career progression
59. I had to cancel my holiday to Thailand because I wasn’t well enough to go
60. I’m not very tidy and it makes me annoyed with myself
61. I use my phone too much
62. I buy clothes impulsively and then feel guilty for spending the money and contributing to fast fashion pollution
63. I am working as a nurse during an international pandemic
64. U.K. and world politics make me incredibly anxious but I feel completely powerless
65. I want to read more but I can’t concentrate
66. I have to wear glasses or contacts or I can’t see
67. The house two doors down from me has the worst neighbours living in it
68. Both medications I need to manage my mental health can cause a life threatening and irreversible skin disease
69. I always worked more hours than I want to but I feel guilty if I don’t take up opportunities to earn more money
70. I want to be able to convince everyone in the world why feminism is important
71. Quarantine
72. Sometimes I can’t stop myself arguing with strangers on the internet
73. Life is overwhelming
74. My day programme closed
75. I have too many pyjamas for my pyjama drawer
76. I really want to like eggs but they are not nice
77. I struggle with the cold and it’s cold most of the year
78. I use the internet as a personal diary
79. I don’t like tofu but I wish I did
80. I really like my therapist and I know I can’t see him forever
81. I have zero musical talents
82. I will be spending my 30th birthday in lockdown
83. One of my bunnies died suddenly and now I always worry the other one is lonely
84. I am really bad at putting sun cream on so I always burn
85. I was supposed to go to Italy in June
86. I have tendinitis in my foot so running is painful
87. I love baking but anorexia makes me too scared to do it
88. There’s cobwebs in the corners of my lounge
89. I’ve never been stung by a bee and I am worried that I’m allergic to them
90. The government won’t pay me appropriately for my job
91. My coffee table is broken
92. I hate tea and coffee and it really offends people
93. I want more pets but I don’t have enough room
94. I just discovered that I like going to the cinema on my own and then they all closed
95. I have terrible concentration
96. I own too many shoes to possibly wear them all
97. I am a terrible actress
98. I want to live in the forest
99. I’ve run out of ideas for this list

I would love to see your own versions of this list!

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